Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
3pm strippers are depressing
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
