From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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