The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
