escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
