I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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