I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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