he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
