speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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