just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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