I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
