My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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