My nipple is on Facebook.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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