$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
