Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
