You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
