If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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