I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Randomize
