he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
