Dual....:-)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Terrible idea I love it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
