well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
