Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
