i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
