ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
