oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
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I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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