it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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