A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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