don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
