So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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