yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
