did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
