Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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