no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
