I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Houston, we have a blender
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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