i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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