I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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