Everything about him screamed your future.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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