I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize