Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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