I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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