i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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