She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
