My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't turn off my feet"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
