we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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