I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
