The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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