when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
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Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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