Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm way too hungover for life right now
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
