Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
