youre lurking in front of me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize