My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
