I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
