Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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