if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
