Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize