We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
