I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
