we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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