When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize