Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i barfeds in our rink
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
