nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
