brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
