playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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