Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize