in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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