We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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