Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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